Ally McCoist is in full flow. Tales of expeditions on the other side of the Atlantic have accelerated from catching salmon in Alaska “on rivers with bears 40 yards away from us” to being strapped into a boat in Guatemala while hauling in 450lb marlin. “An hour and 20 minutes. Amazing.” Next, pursuit of the golden dorado in Patagonia. McCoist depicts fingerless guides, screaming: “Don’t go near them!” as piranha leap. “It was magnificent.”
So is McCoist’s storytelling. His warmth and entertainment factor should be news to nobody; be it fishing, football or anything in between. He is the definition of a media natural. Perhaps the necessity to watch more football on television is pertinent but recent, broader recognition of the 58-year-old’s talents is notable. Punditry and co-commentary, especially in conjunction with Jon Champion, has afforded McCoist fresh prestige. “Someone said to me I am now appealing to a football market in England,” McCoist says. “That’s rather than the grannies, the over 65s who loved Question of Sport. Of which my mother was one, by the way.”
McCoist and Champion’s endearing connection dates back to the 1998 World Cup. “It’s a friendship,” says McCoist. “It’s like having a blether with a mate. He is a breath of fresh air. I’ve got so much respect for these guys. Clive Tyldesley, Peter Drury … all of them. Their work ethic in terms of soaking up knowledge, doing their studies and analysis is amazing. I didn’t appreciate it until I started working with them.”
At the 2018 World Cup in Russia, McCoist’s cultural references – Kazan falling to Ivan The Terrible in 1552 a highlight during a drab fixture – drew smiles. “We were careful not to go over the top, you don’t want to start ripping the backside out of it,” he says. “But it provided light relief in some of the games.
“When am I going to get a chance to go to Sochi or Samara or Nizhny Novgorod, 50km from a chemical warfare factory? Experiences like that you couldn’t buy. There’s still the wee boy in me that loves to go out and have an adventure.”
In Scotland, the reference point for McCoist could never relate to media work. He was the iconic, record-breaking striker at Rangers towards whom Celtic supporters always seemed to have – if quiet and grudging – admiration. “I’m proud of that,” he says. “One of the reasons Old Firm supporters could relate to me was I was one of them, playing for the team I wanted to play for. If we scored at Celtic Park, the only people I wanted to celebrate in front of was Rangers supporters. I wasn’t interested in getting involved with the opposition. I had a lot of respect for where I was and who was there.”
McCoist was among those to carry the coffin of the former Celtic player and manager Tommy Burns at his funeral in 2008. “Tommy Burns was a brilliant human being. One of the biggest compliments ever paid to me was that I was to Celtic supporters what Tommy was to Rangers supporters. You’re not universally loved, far from it, but you are accepted.”
This accentuates a human element. McCoist is an immensely proud father of five boys. Special praise in context of the last year is reserved for Mitchell, who is now 22 and spent almost a year in intensive care when born. “It has been tough,” McCoist says. “My ex-wife has done an unbelievable job looking after and protecting him. He goes to a special place during the day but hasn’t been able to go because of circumstances. He has to be looked after because of his special needs. His brothers haven’t really seen him. We had him up at Christmas but we have to be so, so careful. As a family we miss him, more than anything, and hope there’s a day soon where we can get back to some form of normality.”
McCoist offers no tears for modern footballers but has no desire to trade generations. “You couldn’t put a price on what we had,” he explains. “I could go fishing with Paul Gascoigne, I could go for a pint and a game of doms with Ian Durrant. There’s no way I would play now rather than the era I played in. We had a life.”
When goalscoring ended, McCoist’s path looked obvious. He was assistant to and mentored by Walter Smith back at Ibrox. In one of fate’s cruel quirks, McCoist’s taking the Rangers managerial reigns in 2011 coincided with financial implosion. “I wish I’d had normal circumstances, I can’t lie,” he says. “David Murray [the former Rangers owner] said to me: ‘We’ll never really know what kind of manager you were. But you were definitely a crisis manager.’
“I would never know but looking at me you have to say it was affecting my health. Lack of sleep, not eating right, no rest. Getting away from it certainly did me a lot of good.”
McCoist was in office as Rangers were plunged into administration, liquidation and Scottish football’s fourth tier. Those in the background, although identities changed, were permanently unconvincing. He departed in late 2014, with Rangers still not returned to the top flight.
“People wouldn’t believe it,” says McCoist of the circumstances. “It was absolutely insane. I am the Rangers manager who ended up in a witness stand in the high court, thinking: ‘Is this what it’s come to?’ There were people involved at our football club who had no right to be there and should never have been near the place.
“As much as it was the dream job at the wrong time, I’m quite pleased that we were involved. Myself, Kenny McDowall, Ian Durrant, Gordon Durie, Jim Stewart … we knew the club better than anybody. We suffered with the supporters. I look back and say, in a masochistic way, that I’m pleased it was us.”
There is an occasional desire to expand upon nefarious characters and dubious deals. “If it served a purpose,” McCoist says. “The only thing that registers is: ‘Do the fans deserve to hear some of the stuff that went on?’ I think they do to a large degree. But then I sit back and ask why I should stir it all up again. The club is in a great place now.”
That McCoist remains immersed in Rangers as a supporter is clear when he is asked if even a tiny element of him is envious of the fact he did not sample the stable environment currently enjoyed by Steven Gerrard. “There is no feelings other than pleasure and admiration here,” McCoist insists. “There will be nobody, I can guarantee – Steven, Gary McAllister, Alfredo Morelos, James Tavernier, the entire board – happier than me if we win this league. I promise you that.”
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And what of Gerrard himself, with Rangers on the brink of that title? “The way he handles himself, his players, his press conferences – he just looks and sounds like a Rangers manager should. I just think he’s got it. He picks things up very, very quickly.”
McCoist rails slightly at the notion of coaching passing him by, given he hasn’t been applying for jobs. Having left Rangers, he initially planned a dugout return. “I had some interviews – QPR, Blackburn, Sunderland,” he says. “It has worked to my benefit that I didn’t get any of them. Particularly Sunderland – a club that I dearly love – just completely lost its way. When I didn’t get those jobs I just felt I had to do something. I’ve been really, really lucky.”
Football’s loss was the gain of broadcasting and, by extension, the rest of us.
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