
24 min: Chilwell sends a long-distance riser towards the top left from 25 yards. It’s a hell of a shot, heading into the corner, but Benedettini makes his second fine save of the match, tipping it around for a corner. Lovely football all round.
23 min: England have the scent of blood in their nostrils now. Sterling races down the left, hoping to find space to shoot. Not quite. Lingard looks for the top right again with another curler. That’s blocked. A third goal is surely imminent.
James calmly wanders down the right, then wedges a lovely cross that drops on the head of Calvert-Lewin, who isn’t missing from six yards this time. He heads powerfully downwards, into the bottom left-hand corner.
19 min: Sterling dribbles down the left, beating Battistini with ease. He tiptoes along the byline, drags back, and looks to surprise Benedettini at the near post. His shot billows the side netting.
18 min: England are tearing San Marino apart down the left flank. Sterling is sent scampering away, the result of a cute Chilwell dummy, but can’t quite find Calvert-Lewin in the middle with his pullback. San Marino blooter clear.
16 min: San Marino get into the England half for the first time this evening. Sort of. A long hoof from the back that flies all the way through to Pope. It all counts.
It’s fair to say this had been coming. Chilwell is released down the left by Mount. He pulls back for Ward=Prowse, who sweeps a glorious first-time shot into the bottom right. That’s his first goal for England.
13 min: One corner leads to another, and from that, Mount curls in from the left. Palazzi has played everyone onside, and both Sterling and Stones are free, six yards out. Sterling misses the ball, then Stones hoicks it over the bar. What an absurd miss! England should now be 3-0 up.
11 min: Lingard looks for the top-right corner from 25 yards. Benedettini extends himself to palm the shot around the post. Fine save, and one that’ll make a fine photograph.
10 min: Mount tries to release Sterling down the middle, but overcooks the pass. Goal kick. This is one-way traffic, as expected.
9 min: The chances continue to come. Lingard slips Mount into space down the left. Mount wedges into the centre. Sterling stretches to head this one wide right. He might have been better leaving that to Calvert-Lewin, who was right beside him with extra inches.
8 min: It’s all England. Lingard crosses from a deep position on the right. Sterling rises highest on the edge of the six-yard box, but can’t guide his header on target. England should be two up.
6 min: Stones slips a ball down the right for James, who immediately crosses low into the centre. Calvert-Lewin should score from six yards, but allows the ball to whistle between his legs when attempting to sidefoot home.
4 min: England are pinging it around at high speed now. Lingard and Mount have already seen a fair bit of the ball, and the hosts have been probing down both flanks. This is going to be a long night for the San Marino defence.
2 min: Sterling suddenly turns up the pace with a dribble down the left. He can’t quite break through. There’s another phase, and Mount threads a pass down the same channel for Sterling, who is this close to getting on the end of it. Benedettini does well to come off his line to smother.
1 min: England quickly gain possession and stroke the ball around in the methodical training-ground style.
8.3 secs: San Marino aren’t even out of their own half this time.
Before kick-off, a period of applause to celebrate the lives of Glenn Roeder, Frank Worthington, Colin Bell and Peter Swan, all of whom have recently passed. Then the knee: there’s no room for racism. And finally San Marino - playing in white, while England wear blue - get the match underway.
There’s a moving tribute in memory of the heroic Captain Sir Tom Moore, then the teams take to the pitch. The anthems ring around Wembley. We’ll be off in a couple of minutes.
Gareth Southgate, 50, played 50 times for England, and tonight he manages the team for the 50th time. No word yet from him tonight, but in a pre-recorded interview on ITV (who still haven’t replaced that Britpop dirge as their theme tune, but should do, going back to this far more jaunty effort instead) he’s asked whether he already knows his starting XI for the Euro 2020 opener against Croatia. He responds decisively. “Yes.” Not sure tonight’s starters will be particularly thrilled to hear their fate is already sealed, but there it is.
England: Pope, James, Coady, Stones, Chilwell, Phillips, Ward-Prowse, Lingard, Mount, Sterling, Calvert-Lewin.
Subs: Johnstone, Rice, Mings, Henderson, Kane, Foden, Dier, Shaw, Maguire, Watkins, Trippier, Bellingham.
San Marino: Elia Benedettini, Manuel Battistini, Brolli, Rossi, Grandoni, Lunadei, Golinucci, Jose Hirsch, Berardi, Palazzi, Nicola Nanni.
Subs: Giardi, D’Addario, Ceccaroli, Zonzini, Michael Battistini, Luca Nanni, Simone Benedettini, Conti, Fabbri, Stimac, Mularoni, Zafferani.
Referee: Kirill Levnikov (Russia).

A couple of notable comebacks will be made this evening. Jesse Lingard hasn’t played for England since the Nations League third-place play-off win over Switzerland in June 2019, while John Stones has been waiting for his 40th cap ever since a 7-0 win over Montenegro 16 months ago. Deserved reward for the seasons the pair have been having at West Ham and Manchester City respectively.
England start their World Cup qualification campaign with a starting XI that can best be described as “experimental”. Ten changes from the team named against Iceland in the Nations League last autumn, with only Mason Mount keeping his place in the starting XI. West Brom goalkeeper Sam Johnstone and Aston Villa striker Ollie Watkins are on the bench, hoping to make their debuts sometime later this evening. Raheem Sterling is the stand-in captain, with Harry Kane getting a rest.
England (@England)
Here's how the #ThreeLions line up for our first game of 2021! 👊 pic.twitter.com/Qu36JPVfee
March 25, 2021
According to the official Fifa rankings, England are the fourth best team in the world, bettered only by Belgium, France and Brazil. Compare and contrast with San Marino, the 210th ranked nation out of 210. This is a mismatch of biblical proportions, a state of affairs that is also amply illustrated by the head-to-head: England have won all six meetings to a cumulative score of 37-1. Mind you, San Marino’s one was very, very, very, very funny indeed.
England are on a hiding to nothing, requiring only to score enough goals to keep everybody happy, or at least stop them muttering. Six seems about par, if history is any guide. San Marino, with the second smallest population in the entire world of Fifa, don’t have the resources to seriously humiliate England. Unless, of course, one of La Serenissima manages to score during the first 8.2 seconds, beating the grand comedic achievement of Davide Gualtieri set all those years ago.
Kick off: 7.45pm GMT.
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